Reflections of a Father: Navigating the world as a father of two

Thejesh said he wished there were more dad bloggers in India and had shared a dad blog post. I want to share a bit about my experience as a father of two. I often feel like I have so much to say, but I’ve struggled with what to share publicly.

These are the posts about my daughter and the one post about my son.

My daughter is six years old, while my son is 14 months old. Many people ask me to compare how my son is now to how my daughter had been when she was 14 months old. I am comparing how I am with my son now to how I was with my daughter when she was 14 months old back in June 2018.

My daughter was away at our native place for the first six months of her life. I had spent very little time with her. The time away frayed my relationship with my wife and daughter. It took a long time to heal these wounds. I am not sure they have healed.

In contrast, I was with my son from the day he was born. My wife did not go away to Kerala for childbirth like she had for our daughter. There is a lingering sense of guilt when I play with my son, knowing I didn’t play as much with my daughter. I try to make up for lost time, but I realize it is not time that I can reclaim.

Reflecting on my actions, however, reveals something interesting. I’ve been more proactive in planning for my daughter’s future than I have been for my son’s. I have opened a savings account, got her a Sukanya Samruddhi account, and got her insurance. I have enrolled her in the best school in the locality. I have been more relaxed with my son in these aspects.

I have tried to overcome my guilt of not spending enough time with my daughter in the present by planning for her future while I have been more present with my son.

March 10, 2024